Right before my first chemo treatment, I had met with Dr. Raefsky. We talked about the side effects of the treatments I would be receiving. Of course one of the main side effects would be that I would lose my hair. I asked when that would happen and he said in about 2-3 weeks. As I was leaving the exam room on Monday after getting my white blood count checked, the research nurse, Beth, told me that probably the next time I was in I would be experiencing hair loss. We talked about it for a minute. She told me that my head would get very sensitive and I would notice my hair coming out.
Up to that day, I had not lost a single hair on my head. On Tuesday afternoon, my head started itching and I started noticing one or two hairs coming out if I ran my fingers through my hair. By Wednesday, my head was tingling and more hairs were coming out and I knew it was finally happening. On Thursday morning (exactly 2 weeks since my first treatment), I was getting small handfuls of hair and when I combed my hair, lots was coming out. Friday, when I washed my hair, I was afraid I would clog the drain with as much hair that came out. I could tell that my hair was very thin. I fixed my hair and tried not touch it because every time I did, I could pull out pieces of my hair. Kevin and I were going out on date and I wanted to look like myself one last time.
Even though I had my hair cut short at the beginning of the summer, it was very annoying to have all these hairs fall out everywhere. I would hang my head over the bathroom sink just so the hair would fall in one place. I thought I would end up choking on a hairball at night with the hair that fell on my pillow. So this morning, Kevin shaved my head. When I started noticing my hair coming out, I told him that he needed to shave my head and he did exactly that.
It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. When I had first been told that I had cancer, I thought I did not want to lose my hair and I kept touching it and worrying about it. I have accepted that I was going to lose my hair. It is just part of what I have to go through. I realize now that it is going to grow back. My friends have given me so many beautiful caps and scarves that I think are so pretty. And plus, my head is shaped quite nicely.And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:30-31)
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