Breast Cancer Friends

The Maple Hill Church of Christ has a breast cancer support group.  It was started by a couple of ladies that went through breast cancer and it is open to all women who have or had breast cancer.  It meets every third Monday night of the month.  I have only been able to attend about five meetings in the last year and I am looking forward to trying be more involved.  This month's meeting was the best so far.  It was called, "The child within us."  The 4 year old classes from our Mother's Day Out program sang a few songs for us ladies and presented us with a small gift of a bookmark they made.

This handsome little boy in the middle is John Derrick and he is MY handsome boy.  He was so cute up there singing to us.  He was quite excited that night.  He got to go to his very first T-ball practice and then he got to sing to "the ladies who have cancer"  They sang, Jesus Loves Me, The Pizza Hut song (that is what he is singing right now) and The Green Grass Grew All Around.  I had my video camera with me and I managed to record the first song but managed not to record the rest of the night.  (But that doesn't matter because I haven't figured out how to get stuff off the video camera to my computer yet.)

One Year Later...

Exactly one year ago today, my life changed completely.  I know that is such a cliche but those are the only words that can describe my life today.  One year ago, I was happy just living a quiet life but that was not enough.  One year ago, I woke up after spending a long weekend at the Opryland Hotel for the Lads to Leaders/Leaderette Convention.  I was tired but Kevin closed the door to our bedroom and quietly said to me, "Mary Anne, I felt something last night."  I touched my left breast and there it was, a hard lump.  My heart stopped and I felt sick and I was scared.  I took a deep breath and continued getting ready.  I had kids to get to school and I was going to teach at Mother's Day Out.  I just couldn't  dwell on it right then.  But I did, I thought about it all morning.  I was distracted and everything I did was mechanical.  I wasn't a good teacher that day.  It was finally naptime and the kids were sleeping.  I slipped out into the hallway and was talking to my good friend Tammy.  I decided to tell her what I found.  I knew I had a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks but she told me to go and get it looked at.  I did and after my first and only mammogram and biopsy, I found out that I had cancer.

I prayed hard for three weeks that that lump was just fatty tissue or a cyst.  I prayed that it was nothing and I could go back living my quiet life.  I have two kids and a husband who need me.  I didn't have time to do this and I didn't want to have cancer.  But God quietly told me no that I had to do this so my prayer changed.  I prayed that God would be with me through this and to watch after my kids and husband and I will make it through and one day I can hold my grandchildren.


Before last year, I did not know anyone personally who had cancer or at least I didn't know that I knew people who had had cancer.  To me, cancer was a terrible disease and it can kill.  Chemo was something that was used to treat cancer and it made people's hair fall out and that is all I knew.  I honestly thought that I could get this all over with in a few months but that wasn't the case.  I am almost done.  I had the surgeries, I had the chemo,  I lost my hair and felt the tiredness and going through menopause.  Now my hair is coming in quite nice and thick, I am getting energy back and I have new breasts : ).  I am on oral medication that is meant to keep my cancer from coming back.  Yes, I am almost done.

God has been so good to me.  I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve but it is because of God that I am here today feeling good.  He has blessed me with the most husbands, children, parents, brothers, cousins, aunts and uncles and most of all my church family.  They sent me cards, gifts, and fed me and my family, cleaned my house but most of all, they PRAYED for me.  Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  I felt that peace that transcends all understanding because of all the prayers that were lifted up for me, a person who wanted to live a quiet life.

Over this past year, I have experience joy and contentment and sorrow.  I have made new friends and grown closer to the friends that I have already had.  I now have three new doctors one being a plastic surgeon (just wishing insurance would pay to have some belly fat removed, ha ha, just kidding) I have been to a doctor office more times in the past year then in my whole 34 years prior to this.  I still have not been to a plain old doctor just specialists. I have had four separate surgeries over the last year and I am still amazed of how quickly you fall asleep when they give you that medicine in the IV and how completely unconscious you are during that time.  I cut my hair all off last year and colored it pink.  I had Kevin shave my hair after it started falling out.  Now it is growing back in and I kind of like it short like this but Kevin and the kids want it long again.  My children have been amazing this year.  They have not been scared and have treated me as well as they could.  Kevin was patiently taking care of me when the chemo was bad.  I also learned that chemo is not easy but it is tolerable and I could keep going after the side effects wore off.

I would have never chosen this life for me.  I hope that I don't have to do this again.  I have a wonderful oncologist whom I trust and who seems to be doing all he can.  I have faith in God that he will take care of me and lead me the paths that I need to take.  I have wonderful family and friends that love me and I love them dearly.  Thank you all.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  (Romans 15:13)

I Got it Done

I had my implants put in yesterday.  I am very glad that it is over with.  My skin was still a little broken out so I went by Dr. Tierney's (my plastic surgeon) office first thing yesterday morning and he left the decision up to us if wanted to proceed with the surgery.  He would have preferred that I was completely clear but I felt like I was as clear as I was going to get.  I will have to start back on the medicine that made me break out in about a week.  Dr. Raefsky's research nurse, Beth, felt like the folliculitis was caused by the initial starting of the medicine and hopefully when I start back, I won't break out again.

But I have my implants in AND I no longer have my port so it is official there will be no more chemo!  I am pretty sore and wrapped up so I haven't got to admire them too much.  I was told by a few nurses that Dr. Tierney does good work.  I was impressed that he took the time to talk to me on Friday morning before surgery.  He was quite busy that day with other surgeries. 

The kids are at my parent's house again for the weekend.  I am so thankful that they live nearby so they can take the kids so I can have a day to recover at home quietly.   So right now, I am sore and a little tired.  I got up this morning and moved to the recliner and have not gotten up except to brush my teeth and go to the bathroom.

Also, I have a wonderful church family who is still praying for me.  Nobody should have to go through this alone.

Going to Try Again

So I have scheduled my exchange surgery for this Friday, March 26.  Yipee!!!  I have called my oncologist and I have permission to not take the lapatinib that was causing my skin to break out.  Now I will take the antibiotic that I have to clear up my skin and hope for the best.  Already my skin is looking better so I will keep hoping that it continues to clear up and when Dr. Tierney sees me on Friday, he is willing to do the surgery.

Yesterday (March 19)  I had scheduled surgery to have my tissue expanders removed and have my implants put in.  I was also going to have my port removed and have my ovaries removed.

My previous post talked about the pills that I was taking.  The only major side effect that I had experienced was that my skin broke out in little red bumps all over my face, arms and chest.  I told my oncologist about it and he gave my antibotic to clear it up but unfortunately I didn't start taking the medicine soon enough to clear up the rash.  So when Dr. Tierney took one look at my chest, he did not want to do his part of the surgery because he feared that I might get an infection so we had to put his surgery for another day.

I did go ahead and get my ovaries removed since the rash was not on my stomach.  That part of the surgery went well and I am at home right now recovering.  I feel pretty good just sore where the incisions are.


I am hoping that my rash will clear up soon so I can get other surgery done.  I am hoping that I can get it done before the end of March.  Kevin had changed jobs at the beginning of the month and had to switch insurances.  We had to pay for Cobra this month and was trying to get as much done as possible before we started a new deductible.

A Handful of Pills

I went back to Dr. Raefsky yesterday for a quick check up and to get me started on the next part of my treatment for the clinical trial that I signed up for.  I will be taking a drug called Laptinib.   Laptinib is already FDA approved for women whose cancer has came back so know they are testing it on women who are going cancer the first time.  This drug is used to combat the HER2 protein.  I have to take SIX of these pills every morning on an empty stomach.   As you can see by the pictures they are not small pills.  I can take them an hour before breakfast or an hour after breakfast.  After one morning, I have decided to take them an hour after breakfast.  Taking SIX of these pills first thing when I wake up was not the best thing for my system.



On March 19th I will be having surgery again.  I having two surgeries in at one time.  First, I will be doing the exchange surgery.  I will be getting rid of these rock hard tissue expanders and receiving my implants.  Dr. Tierney will also remove my port that I used for receiving my chemo medication.  The second part is I am having my ovaries removed.  Dr. Cathy Deppen will be doing this part of my surgery.  Dr. Raefsky recommended having my ovaries removed since my cancer was also estrogen and progestern fueled.  Having my ovaries removed will put me into menopause and will give Dr. Raefsky better options for treatment. 

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,  for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."to the one who seeks him; The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,(Lamentations 3:22-25)

A Good Day

So I had my PET scan done on Wednesday.  It was not painful it was just a long process.  I couldn't eat or drink anything for 6 hours prior to the scan and my scan was that afternoon so I ate a big breakfast and then was hungry for the rest of the day.  I had to drink a contrast drink.  I chose to drink what they offered there and it was lemonade and it tasted really good especially since I had nothing to drink all day.  They had to give me an IV and give me a shot of glucose with a radioactive tracer in it.  The tracer would go to any area where there was active cancer cells.  I had to sit in a dimly lit room for an hour and then I got the scan which took about 20 minutes.   Sitting in the dimly lit room was not too bad.  It gave me some quiet time to spend in prayer which I really needed.  The only problem was the contrast drink had caught up with me and I had to ask for a short break which I got and then came back to spend a few more minutes of quiet time before the scan.  I managed to stay still for the scan which wasn't fun but I managed.

I got to go to see Dr. Raefsky today to get the results.  He came in and first thing he told me that the scan was clear!  Words cannot express how relieved I felt.  I had been so nervous for a week since he called me the first time.  I knew that God had a plan for me but I didn't know what that plan was and I just had to have faith in Him.

Dr. Raefsky still was not sure exactly what he saw on the CT scan.  His thought was that maybe I had a few cancer cells in my spine that were too small for the bone scan that I had this summer to pick up.  The aggressive chemo that I went through took cancer cells and now my bones are healing.  I liken it to have scar tissue on my spine.

I asked for prayers for the results of this scan and I got prayers. Prayers were lifted up on my behalf  literally all over the world.  The missionaries that the Maple Hill church supports were praying for me, my friends were praying, the elders were praying and the church was praying.  God answers those prayers.  It has been a tough year that I wish that I did not have to go through but that was God's plan for me.  I have learned so much.  Things that I have known for a long time but I needed a refresher course.  I know the power of prayers but  I needed to see God's work more clearly.  I know that I can put my trust in God but I needed to learn to let go more and let God handle my problems.  I needed to know that God has a plan for me.

Thank you everyone who prayed for me.  Please keep praying and pray for everyone else who is battling cancer because every prayer helps.

Scan Results

First, I must say that I have been feeling great.  I didn't realize how tiring the chemo was because now that I have not had chemo in three weeks, I have had more energy, my taste has come back and my skin is clearing up.  I am so happy to be over chemo.  Second, I have scheduled my reconstruction surgery and I will have that done on March 19!

I had my CT scan this past Tuesday.  I learned a valuable lesson, don't ever drink the contrast drink that is offered at the doctor's office but drink the contrast drink that they offer at the imaging office.  It tastes like orange Tang and there is a lot less to drink then the other contrast drink.

The good news about the CT scan was that the place on my liver had not changed so my doctor was confident that it was a harmless cyst and nothing to worry about.  The bad news was that he saw something on my spine that he doesn't understand.  He couldn't tell me much about what he saw.  I had had a bone scan done this past summer and it was clean.  I have had 16 rounds of chemo so no cancer should have grown there.  He is concerned so he has ordered a PET scan.  I will have that done next Wednesday and then I go see him about the result on Thursday.

I will admit that I am a little upset.  I have been feeling so good and then I get this call and I now I feel like the wind was knock out of my sails (sorry for the cliche but that is how I feel)  Now I have to wait and how I hate waiting.  Waiting just makes me think and when I start thinking, I think of the worse sometimes.  So please keep me in your prayers that this is nothing and I can continue feeling good.

Time Off for Good Behavior

That's what Dr. Rafesky told me when I went in for my first post chemo visit this past Monday.  I don't have to go back and see. him for 6 weeks.  For the next 6 weeks, I don't plan to go to any farther then Mt. Juliet if I can help it. 

The visit went well.  He just checked me over and talked about some of the things that I will be doing.  I will get another CT scan on February 2 just as a precaution and he was not too concerned about finding anything.  He talked about some hormonal therapy that he will want me to do in the future.  That will involve some oral medication.  Also, because of the trial that I signed up for, I will be taking a drug called lapitnib which is an oral drug.  I won't start that till I see him next time. 

The chemo was very hard on my skin.  My face, arms and chest have broken out something awful.  That was the first thing he noticed when he came into the room.  He gave me a prescription for an antibiotic.  I hope that with the antibiotic and me switching to soap and laundry detergent for sensitive skin, it will clear up soon.

Monday was so wonderful not having to go and get chemo.  I felt so good.  The kids are happy that I am not getting chemo also.  Even though they have been so good during these past months, I knew it had bothered them to see mommy tired or not feeling good.  Things will start getting back to a better routine around here and I will feel like doing more.  I will be going back to teaching at Mother's Day Out next week and I know John Derrick will be glad about that.  I have to lose the weight that I gained during chemo and I will be glad about that.  Now if I can just start sleeping better at night, things will be good.

The End

I am finished!! Enough said!  (Besides the fact that Kevin took me to my final treatment and we went out to eat a Red Lobster for lunch as a mini celebration)

Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods (Psalms 95:1-3)


...I will trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; In your name I will hope, for your name is good. (Psalm 52:8-9)


Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again; Rejoice! (Philippians 4:4)


Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. (Ephesians 6:10)

A Merry Christmas, a New Year and Closer to the End

I have been very behind in blogging about my treatments.  I finished treatment # 11 yesterday so I have only ONE MORE TREATMENT TO GO!! (Can you tell that I am a little excited?)  I am still feeling good.  The side effects that I experience are very minor and don't affect my everyday activities.

We had a very merry Christmas this year.  I am very thankful that my treatments didn't interfer with the time I spend with my family.  Christmas Eve was spent at my parents house with my brothers and their families.  I was thankful that my younger brother Lane and his wife Kristen and daughter Josie were able to drive up from Houston to be with us.  I was sad that my sister-in-law, Penny, had thryoid surgery just a few days before Christmas Eve.  She didn't get out of the hospital till Christmas Eve so she had to stay at home and rest (which she needed to do anyway).  My older brother, Marty, did come and bring his kids, Emilynne, Nathaniel and Susannah.  Christmas morning was spent at home and we ate Christmas dinner at my Aunt and Uncle's home with the extended family where we had a fun Dirty Santa exchange.  Kevin and I along with Lane and Kristen went to the Titans game Christmas night where we were very cold and the Titans lost.

We spent New Year's Eve at home and I made a pot of homemade chili and attempted homemade cinnamon rolls which turned out delicious.  On New Years Day we drove to Memphis to spend the weekend with some of our dear friends, Jeremy and Laura Tolleson and their son Bradley.  Kevin and Jeremy went to the Liberty Bowl to see the Arkansas Razorback play.  They turned into ice cubes and Arkansas won in overtime.  Laura and I took the kids to a nice warm movie theater were we saw The Chipmunks, the Squeakquel.

A special thank you to Tammy Robertson who took me to my treatment, Monday December 21.  She is a very special friend who has wanted to do something but she works at Mother's Day Out on Mondays and Thursday.  Since school was out, I asked if she could take me and she did.  We enjoyed our time even together.  Thank you to Nicole Brashear who took me to my treatment yesterday and thank you to Jenny Leech who brought over supper yesterday.

I know I left a day out.  On Monday December 28, my dad took his turn to take me to the doctor.  He got to do a little extra because I had to see my breast surgeon Dr. Lawson that morning.  My appointment with her was at 9:45 downtown Nashville at Baptist and my treatment was at 1:00 in Hermitage at Summit.  We planned on doing lunch together in between.  Well I got done with Dr. Lawson fairly quickly and we had a some time to kill before lunch and my treatment so he drove me around Nashville.  He showed me the homes that lived in as a boy.  He drove me by the schools that he went to and told me the places that he remembered going to.  We also drove by one of the houses that lived in before we moved to Lebanon and drove by the house my mom lived in as a girl.  I wished that I had my camera with me because I want pictures of those houses.  I also wish I could see the insides of those houses.  I was very fascinated by this history lesson.  We went to lunch at Paneras in Hermitage and then off to the doctor.  They were busy because of the holidays so my dad was not able to come back and stay with me to keep me company but he waited in the waiting room and got some studying done.  I really enjoyed and appreciated the time I spent with him that day.

Thank you for keeping me in your prayers.  Remember to also pray for others who are battling cancer even if you don't know who they are because there are a lot of people who need those prayers.

Getting Closer to the End

Yesterday was treatment number 8. I am finally seeing the end of the tunnel. I will be done with chemo by the second week of January. Yipee!!

I am still feeling good. Yesterday I was really tired when I got home and went straight to bed and slept for 2 hours and I had no idea what was going on around me. Kevin took me my treatment yesterday mainly because I forgot to ask anyone else to take me. Luckily they were not too busy yesterday so Kevin got to sit with me most of the time except when I let him go out and get him some lunch. A special thanks again to Rachel Gray for bringing over supper last night. She makes a very good Poppy seed casserole.

Thank you everybody for keeping me in you prayers. I love how God works in my life. Sometimes I start feeling a little discouraged but I feel the prayers working. Sometimes I think it is just meeting a random person on the street. Just last week, I was having a down day but I had to go to Joanne's for some crafty supplies. As I was checking out one the men who works there asked me how I was doing. He had checked me out before (and I mean at the register so I could buy my stuff). Since I was wearing a turban, he had asked if I was going through chemo and he told me that he had gone through it also several years ago. When I in there last week, he saw me again and asked if I was still doing good. I really appreciated that and I know it is God telling me that it will all be ok and I will make it.

Over Halfway Done

Today I had my seventh treatment out of 12. I am still feeling pretty good. I have been getting a little tired easier but nothing unbearable. I met with Dr. Raefsky first this morning and he seems pleased with my progress. He mentioned hormonal theraphy that I will have to do after this is over but we are going to get through these treatments until we worry about that. When we get done with these treatments I will have to get a CT scan just to check a tiny spot they saw on my liver at my last CT scan. Both the radiologist and Dr. Raefsky was not overly concerned but they have to check it to be safe.

It was a busy day at the oncologist office. I have moved my treatments to Mondays because of Thanksgiving. I think I like Mondays better because I am getting it over with at the beginning and don't have to think about it all week. There were a lot of people there getting treatments today. So many people that there were not enough chairs for the patients so people were waiting for others to get done. I met another lady named Belinda who was going through cancer for the third time. She tickled me because she was really enjoying talking but she was sharing way too much information about her bodily functions. It was nice talking with her and she shared her snacks with me which I appreciated because I was hungry and I forgot to pack a snack and I was hooked up to the IV and I couldn't get a snack that kept for the patients.

A big thanks again to Margaret McPeak for driving me to my appointment last week. She has taken me 4 times to the doctors and I am appreciative of her for taking time out of her week for me. My mom took the day off to take me today. Since it was so crowded she couldn't sit with me so she got some Christmas shopping done.

Did you know that Steak 'n Shake has a Happy hour from 2:00-4:00? After I got done, my mom wanted to get me something to eat or drink so she suggested a milkshake from Steak 'n Shake. We went through the drive through and ordered 2 Peppermint Chocolate Chip shakes. She counted out her money for the 2 and when we got to the window the very nice man gave us a total for one and when we questioned it, he told us that it was Happy Hour and all drinks and SHAKES are half price. That made both of us so very happy and it was good.

We Have Something in Common and We Wished We Didn't

On Thursday, November 19, I had treatment number five out of 12. So far, any side effects that I have had have been managable and I can go about life as normal as possible. I do come home from my treatments tired but I manage to take a nap but as I said before I can't get back to sleep. Like tonight, it is almost 3 in the morning and I am wide awake. I could have gone to see the midnight showing of New Moon this morning. The main reason that I am still awake is that I had a rather large cup of coffee after supper tonight.

Today was John Derrick's 5th birthday. My baby boy is growing up very relunctantly. He knows he is our baby and he wants to stay that way but I still see how much he is growing and learning and next year he goes to kindergarten and I get teary eyed just thinking about it.

I really am beginning to dislike going to the doctor especially since I have to go every week. I have been going on Thursday while John Derrick is in preschool and of course Faith is at school. So I only get one day of the week child free and I have to try to get a lot done during that time so losing that day really messes me up. But when you go every week, people start becoming familiar faces. I am quite the reserved person so I don't always start up conversations but I have met a lot of people who are there for the same thing. We are getting some type of treatment for some type of cancer. So we all have that thing in common and I know I wish I didn't have that thing in common with them. I have met a teacher from the Lebanon Special School distict (she teaches at Castle Heights Upper Elementary where Faith will be next year), I have met only person who has gotten the exact same treatment as I have, I have seen a lady up there several times while there but today she sat across from me and we were able to talk, I think she said that her cancer was in her bones and she had stem cells removed and she will go back to the hospital on December 18 to have them put back in and to receive more chemo and she will be there for 2-3 weeks. Today I also met a lady who was getting her first treatment for breast cancer that had come back in her lungs and spinal cord and she was going to be there all day till 4:15 in the afternoon. There is another lady I have seen twice but have not spoken to her but she doesn't wear a wig but wears scarfs and turban and she looks so beautiful and peaceful. Last week, I was able to chat with another lady and we didn't talk about treatments but talked about our children. Her children were older, one being in high school and the other a freshman in college but I enjoyed the talk. There are some men who are there, they usually comment on how young I am and we will exchange a few words. We are all having to do this and I garantee that we don't won't to be there and we are all making the best of it and keeping as positive as we can. I keep them in my thoughts and prayers because we all want to be healed.

A special thanks to Kolleen Mangrum who drove me to my treatment last week. She stayed with me and really helped to time passed by. Last week was different because shortly after I got to the treatment everyone left and no one else came in and we had the whole room to ourselves. Also thank you to Rachel Gray who brought us dinner last week. She lives farther out and while she would drive me, it would be a long trip so she decided to make me dinner instead and I definitely appreciated it because I didn't feel like cooking or going out to eat. Thank you to Jenny Leech who drove me today. She had her kids so she wasn't able to come up with me but I soooooo appreciate her taking the time to drive to get me and take me home. Her little boy, Cooper, is John Derrick's best friend.

Now I really need to try to get some sleep. I would hate fall asleep tomorrow when I go see the matinee of New Moon with some of my friends....

For this reason I kneel before the Father,from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:14-21)

Three Down and Only Nine More to Go.

Last Thursday, I had my third treatment of Taxol and Herceptin. I do get Herceptin every week which is not a big deal. So far these treatments are not bad and I don't have a lot of side effects. I think the worse part is the Benadryl they give me. This week I had to take a nap after I got home. I had a pretty good nap but then I could not get to sleep that night so I was awake till 1:00 a.m. I did get in some good TV watching.

A big thanks to Nicole Brashear for taking me to my treatment this week. She stayed and kept me company even though I was quite sleepy. It was nice spending time with her and having someone to talk to because these treatments seem to take sooooo long.

Another Round of Treaments

On Thursday, October 22 I started my next round of treatments. I will be receiving the chemo drug Taxol and the targeted therapy drug Herceptin every week for the next 12 weeks (although I think I get Herceptin every 3 weeks). I met with Dr. Raefsky yesterday and he seemed pleased with my progress and reassured me that these treaments would be better tolerated and so far he is right. I felt good last night and this morning I feel like I normally do. I so hope this will be the way I feel after each treatment because I can handle this.

Kevin was able to go with me to yesterday's treatment. That treatment lasted FOREVER! They had to put the drugs in slowly to make sure that I didn't have any reactions to them. But, the rest the treatments will go quicker. They had to give me a bag of Benedryl before the Taxol and the Benedryl made me a little sleepy. I tried to go to sleep but I could never get to sleep, and I was too tired to concentrate to read the book I brought. I listened to my music and tried to play a few of the games on my Ipod touch. I thought I would never get done but I was only there for about 4 1/2 hours.

Now, for a little bit of inspiration. I will freely admit that I was not looking forward to starting anymore treatments. I am ready to be done. I am tired of going to the doctor and I hate that I have to waste one day a week for the next 12 weeks for treatments. I have been in a bad mood all week long. Wednesday morning was the worse day of all. I had to go to the grocery store and John Derrick was going to have to go with me and I don't like taking him grocery shopping. That morning, I get a call from the Beth, Dr Raefsky's nurse, telling me that when the did the MUGA scan last week they forgot to do a EKG and I needed that done before I could start the treatments and could I come in and do that sometime that day. So I had to drive all the way to Hermitage (about a 25 minute drive from my house), wait and then get the EKG done, and drive back to Lebanon and do my grocery shopping all while John Derrick was with me. John Derrick was angel all day long. He was so good while waiting at the doctor's office and while we were shopping. He didn't complain and didn't aske for a million things. God knew I needed that.

I am always amazed how God works in my life and how He knows when I need to be cheered up. By the time I got home that afternoon, I was exhausted and still not in a good mood. It was Wednesday and we go to church on Wednesday night. I was debating if I wanted to go or not because I was so tired. I went to church and was so thankful I did because I was lifted up by all the wonderful things that went on that night. First, Nick McNabb, our youth minister, delivered our devotional thought that night and he said the things I really needed to hear about looking for the positive in life. The last song we that night was "Sing and Be Happy" which is one of my favorite songs. On my way to class, someone stopped me and gave me a present just to let me know that she has been thinking of me. It was a beautiful bracelet that I know she made. I go to the ladies class on Wednesday night and we are discussing women in the life of Christ. We discussed Salome, the mother of James and John. I left feeling encouraged on how to be a better mother. When I got home that night, I felt so much better and more positive and it all because God knew I needed to hear all that I heard that night. God is good.

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. (James 5:13)

Race for the Cure

This past Saturday, we the did the Race for the Cure in Cookeville, TN. It was a really neat experience, and something that we will try to do every year. This was the first time that they held a Race for the Cure in Cookeville. They had a fairly good attendance of about 1500 people.

Kevin, Faith, and I all walked the 5K (3 miles) along with my dad and my niece, Emilynne. John Derrick and my mom sat in the warm car will we were walking. It was very early and VERY cold. My dad kept a steady pace and got quite a bit ahead of us. I was very proud of Faith and Emilynne. I was afraid that they would complain the whole time about the long walk. Faith is only 9 years old and Emilynne is 12 years old. They walked and talked and had a really good time. They didn't like that it was cold but they never complained about walking and that made me so happy. Unfortunately, I did not get a good night sleep the night before and I woke up very tired and I didn't feel too good. I walked the whole way but by the time we got done walking, I was extremely exhausted and my legs were hurting. I felt like such a whimp because 3 miles is not that far and I was wishing that I had stopped at the 1 mile mark. But I did not give up and made it the whole way.

Next year, I will feel better and hopefully I can get a team together. I would call them the Pink Ladies. If we have tshirts made, I would put my verse on the shirts, Romans 15:13.

Still Waiting...

I finally made it to the doctor this morning for the follow up visit after my last treatment. Everything seemed ok to them. I still have some additional treatments to undergo but as of now, I am not sure what it will be. I had signed up for a clinical trial and I need to be randomized into one of several different treatment plans. Beth (Dr. Raefsky's research nurse) is going to get that done this week and will call and let me know which plan was chosen for me. Meanwhile, I will be getting a MUGA scan done of my heart and EKG on Wednesday.

Did I Mention the Worse is Over?

I did make it through this past weekend. It was rough. When I blogged on Friday, I was feeling really good. I was hoping for a good weekend but that was not the case. Sometime in the middle of the night, the chemo made me sick. I was sick enough to wake up Kevin (who graciously let me have the whole bed to myself) to come and get my back up nausea medicine. It really didn't help because I was still nauseated most of the night. The nausea finally subsided enough for me to get back to sleep. I slept the whole day on Saturday. I wasn't just laying in bed dozing, I was asleep. I finally got up around 4:00 in the afternoon and stayed awake for about one hour. I fell back asleep and didn't get up again till about 12:30 on Sunday. I stayed awake most of the afternoon on Sunday but still went back to sleep really early.

On Monday, I had a 3 month check up with my breast surgeon, Dr. Lawson. She did a thorough check and found everything satisfactory. I go back to her again in 3 months. I did find out that I will not have to have a mammogram again since there is (her words) "no mammo to gram"

I did start feeling a little better on Tuesday. I did not want to do anything so I didn't. Kevin had to make a trip up to Louisville, KY so it was just me and John Derrick at home. He was really good, we just sat and watched cartoons all day and I ignored the complete wreck that my house was in. That has been one of the most annoying things, seeing how messy a house can get when no one is doing anything. By the end of the day, I was exhausted so when my dad brought Faith home from school, I let him take both kids away so I could try to take a nap. Of course, I couldn't get to sleep but I did have about 3 hours of complete peace and quiet which I needed.

So it is Wednesday now. I spent my whole morning cleaning house. It was pretty nasty. The bathrooms were gross, there toys EVERYWHERE, and the dog decided he needed to shred everyone of his chew toys. I had a lot to do this morning and I did make myself tired but it is worth it now because the house looks SO much better.

It is finally fall. It rained for two weeks straight. I was beginning to wonder if I needed to start building an ark. All the rain was worth it because now the weather is crisp and cool. The windows are open at home and the everything smells so fresh. I love fall.

This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. (Psalm 118:24).

The Worse Part is Finally Over!

I had my final round of chemo yesterday. Yipee! I pray that I will never have to have these drugs pumped through my system again. They are not fun. Although this treatment does not seem to be bothering me as much as they did last time. I am pretty much wiped out but I haven't slept all day like I did last time. All that I have done today is go to the get the neulasta shot at the doctors office this morning. Kevin, John Derrick and I were able to stop at Chick Fil'a and get breakfast after my shot. I got home and put on some extremely comfortable clothes and sat in the recliner for the rest of the day. I played on my laptop, read a book, and napped a little. John Derrick sat in my lap alot and watched his favorite cartoons on Boomerang.

The kids will be spending the weekend with Grandmommy and Granddaddy again. This will give me a much needed day to rest without having to worry about the kids. As much as they love their daddy, whenever they want anything, they always come to me first and I always feel the need to help them. They love going to Grandmmommy and Granddaddy's house. John Derrick has been asking ALL day when he was going to leave.

A special thanks again to Margaret McPeak for driving me to my treatment yesterday. Also to Autumn Roeder for fixing a delicious dinner last night for us. Such a simple dinner but it tasted sooo good and we ate it all up. Tomorrow night, a new friend Scarlett Meadows will be bringing Kevin and I something to eat (more about her below). Lori Knox will be bringing us supper on Monday night. I am getting so spoiled with all the dinners that all my friends bring during this time.

About Scarlett, I met her at the Breast Cancer Friends meeting this past Monday night. Breast Cancer Friends is a a breast cancer support group that was started by a few ladies at the Maple Hill congregation where Kevin and I worship. This is the first meeting that I have been able to attend and the first meeting for Scarlett also. She is also a young mother with two children, ages 3 and 17 months. Her breast cancer what caught early and she had a mastectomy just three weeks ago. What made this tougher for her was that she had just moved from Kentucky just recently. We exchanged emails and have emailing each other over the past few days and she offered to bring supper over this weekend. So lets keep her in our prayers as she is also going through this difficult time.

I also want to mention my beautiful daughter Faith. She has been extremely sweet over the past few days. She has done everything that we have asked her to do without one word of complaint. She helped Kevin set the table for supper last night and cleared the dishes. She even wiped the table off with an extremly wet rag without being told. She did her homework and took a shower without complaining too much. While I was laying on the couch after supper, she offered to get me a pillow and cover me up with a blanket. She is so special and wonderful, and I love her so much.

I go back to the doctor to see Sarah, the nurse practioner in 2 weeks and will work out the details of the rest of my treatments. There a still things that I am confused about but we will work those out later. BUT the worse part is over!!!! Yipee!

Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his;we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations. (Psalms 100)